Mr. Ron Vara

 

https://youtu.be/7Q__rqE8EQI?si=AzMc9nryD2s6DgzB

Mr. Navarro rolled from his sack

And removed from his rectum

A nugget of crap

A  book I shall write about my idea

As he cleaned and polished

His mental diarrhoea

This is so big I can hardly believe!

As he wiped sweat from his brow 

with his Elmo jama sleeve

“I’ll be so famous” then he thought he might faint...

A most peculiar book

I've just pulled past my taint!

Nobody will know from whence it came

I can wright what I like...

They’ll be no one to blame!

I’ll make up a name

I don’t really care a…

So Mr. Navarro 

called him "Ron Vara"

He’ll be so much smarter 

Much wiser than most 

But to find this great man 

Will be like hunting a ghost!

Yes his words they’ll be lies

I’ll make up and repeat...

Tariffs are good

They're so scrumptious and sweet!

A publisher bought 

his bad book of grift-fiction

And paid him a bonus for his stated conviction.

"Tariffs will save us from fate and from doom

I’ve just sold this crap

To that fat orange buffoon."

He’s a moron you see

A shiftless pretender

And has no respect

For the opposite gender...

He’s a felon a fraud

No I-Q nor degree,

No brain and no soul

He reminds me of me!

He bullies and threatens, 

stole his way to the top

A capitol offender...decent he’s not

He’ll spread my bowel contents 

all over the map

That Oompa Loompa – my God

Is he fat!?

I’ll get a new job as adviser, chief spoof

It’s absolute hogwash we’ll pass off as truth!

It took only weeks to start the dark play

It ended up called

Lib-er-a-tion Day 

From this day hence forth 

Trade tariffs would rule

Nobody cared how evil

or cruel.

Until the high court said “Just what’s going on…?

Stop all this madness 

You silly moron!”

“I’ll do what I want” said the soulless buffoon –

“I’ll tariff the sky, the mountains the moon

I’ll tariff the trees, their roots and the terra

It’s the right thing to do 

I was told by

…Ron Vara.”

-Alexander Nichols copyright 2026